More ways to cut words

Mar 23

Hi everyone,

I found five out of my ten manuscript pages where I can add micro-tension. I can see the end so I’m okay with going slow so I can get it right.

I deleted 344 words today.

Here’s what I found:

Redundant description:

He smashes a jar on the ground. It doesn’t matter where he smashes the jar, just that the jar is smashed. So I deleted ‘on the ground.’ (3 words)

I prod my food on the plate. She’s in a dining hall so it’s obvious that the food is on her plate so I deleted ‘on the plate’ (3 words).

Looking back at my old drafts here are some things I learned when deleting my 28K words:

Redundant: action

Look to the end action, do you need the actions in between?

o I (put my hand on the knob, twisted it and) opened the door.

o The mass of people (jerk to a halt then) reverse, crowding those behind.

o I (lumber to my feet, and) hobble over to it like I’m on a boat during a storm.

Phrases that can be tightened:

1. Won’t be able to: can’t (-3 words)

2. The way I see it: I believe/think (-3 words)

3. Hurry up: hurry (-1 words)

4. Take off: remove (-1 word)

Redundant single words:

These single words that may not be necessary:

1. But

2. So

3. Probably

4. Maybe

5. Perhaps

Repetition:

making it luminous and highlighting it…
- They mean the same thing, so I chose highlighting it (less words and clearer)
I’m giddy with nervous energy.
Later…
I want to jump up and down but…
- They both indicate the same feeling. Only one is necessary. I chose ‘I want to jump up and down but…’
- The first sentence is telling, the second is showing. I picked the showing sentence. Also in the context of the paragraph it works better.

Okay, that’s all from me. I’m still reading novels to identify micro-tension.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Happy writing,

Joanne.

Micro-tension draft: 102 pages

Cutting More words